Happy Holi!

The last 10 days in india were a real holiday. Spent the first week on the beautiful Palolem beach. We lived in a beach hut equipped with a hammock. Our days were spent basking in the glorious Goan sun, playing beach cricket, swimming and all around relaxing. Eating at the many beach side cafe’s and bars, and just getting chatty with other tourists. Our nights were spent getting progressively souseder. Shivan rode a scooter down one day, and we went for a swim and ate some fine food. The guys who worked at our huts were facinated by the same trick that they would beg for me to do with them every day. One night Ash and I thought it would be a great idea to get a big shark and eat it, it was a hell of a lot of food between us, and I ate as much as I ever had. We, but mostly I, managed to finish of this 2 foot long shark, and my stomach still isn’t the same, now 2 weeks later. After a week on Palolem, with our nice and shiny tans, we headed to Anjuna, further north. There we stayed in this massive hotel room, and did a hell of a lot of smoking. The day we got there we visited the markets, Ash bought this cool ring, and I a gay hat. Afterwards we hit this cafe where the waiter was actually rolling a spliff for the customers… (what the fuck?). So ofcourse I asked for some, and the next thing I’d bought 10g of hash from a shop. Sweet. Spent the next day or two just smokin, drinking and hanging out, then off to the station back to Bombay. The train ride was pretty uneventful, and once back, we met up with Leo for a drink or two at Santa Cruz. The next day, and my last in India was the Hindu festival Holi. Basically it’s a day where everyone drinks bhang and throws coloured powder and water bombs at everyone else. It was a blast, I obviously went out and got a face full of yellow powder. We met up with Leo, and the three of us drank 3 bottles of wine between us. Feeling soused we went back to the room where I washed off the powder, threw my towel out the window, and Leo burned our guidebook. Then I couldn’t find my ticket. No worries I thought, I’ve got a photocopy. So the three of us packed into a rickshaw and we were on our way. Said goodbye to those guys and proceded to check in. They wont let me travel without the original, despite my travel agent telling me that it’s all on a computer system. Holy Fuck. After a stressful half an hour trying to work out what I could do it hit me where I left my ticket, In a secret compartment in my bag. I tore through it and eccstatic found the ticket, checked in and ran for the plane. I was the last to board and managed to delay it by 5 minutes. I am a wanker / sickcunt.

Back home and back to the real world.

Photos to come.

Fido Dido

Went to the Roger Waters concert, it was apparently one of Bombay’s biggest ever concerts. Unfortunately it was lame. I mean, it was really great songs and stuff, but the show was so overly theatrical, I couldv’e been watching it on tv. All in all he’s just a, has-been from before. Still I had a great time, meeting up with all these Indian people who I barely knew, who graciously allowed us to toke their spliffs. Got a cab back to someones rooftop where we sat for a while getting progressively hungrier, at in this sweet place. Tandori fish was amazing. Finally got a cab home.

Spent the next day sleeping, and went out to a few bars with Leo in the evening talking history and politics, which I very much appreciated. Ash stayed home sick.

Next day Ash, Shican and I went to The Ghetto, this really sweet little bar in Maha Lukshmi, had fun playing with tissues and UV light. Leo arrived and we continued joking and laughing. Leo headed off and Ash, Shivan and I hit the Starlet cafe overlooking the ocean and marine drive. Continued until extremely soused, was having to concentrate just to speak coherently. Got home at around 4:00am.

Then for what it possibly the oddest day of my life. Woke up at 8:00ish to check in again. (This has to be done before 9:00am every morning in some sick attempt to make us rise at a good christian time). So got down there and some dude approached me and asked if I wanted to appear in a commercial. He said I’ll receive Rs 500, and get to spend the day playing cricket in Mumbai stadium. I must admit it sounded pretty suss, he wanted me to get on the back of his motorbike there and then. It seemed legit so I went upstairs and got dressed came down and got on. We picked up another guy on the way, so the 3 of us on this bike arrive at the stadium. There, was 9 other dudes waiting. They explained they were shooting a 7up commercial and we were to play the Australian cricket team. Sweet I thought, finally a chance to play for my country, or at least play as my country. They filled one whole stand with Indian’s as a crowd and the commercial was being directed by some famous Indian comedian. So for most of the day we spent playing cards, with an hour or so spent filming with us fielding. I noticed how unaustralian our team looked, with most of our players being scandanavian. Then they needed a bowler. As the only one on our team who knew jack shit about cricket that had to be me. Then out came India’s wicket keeper and one of the worlds highest paid sports people, Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The crowd went wild and I had to bowl to him. So there I was in the Australian uniform bowling to one of the most famous cricketers in the world. It was the best delivery of my life! They gave us our Rs 500, told me the ad will be played in pretty much every country showing the cricket world cup to be played next month, (of which 7up is a major sponsor) and sent me on my way. How exciting, it wasn’t even a con.

Stayed up on adrenaline playing cards till 2:00am, and had to wake again at 5:30am, to catch our train to Goa. So all in all I had about 7 hours sleep over two nights. But it isn’t to bad, got into Goa at around 7:30pm last night, booked into our beach hut, and went drinking. Only this morning did in the light did I realise that we have to be in one of the most beautiful places on earth. This is tropical paradise at its finest and its unbelievably cheap. I never ever want to come home.

9 days left.

thank god for the salvos

I don’t want to come home. Obviously I miss everyone pretty hectically, but the longer I’m here, the more I learn the ins and outs of this place, the more I absolutely love it. Ahhhhhhh! Only 2 weeks to go. Then I’m heading back to:

1. Unemployment.
2. A $5000 credit card debt.
3. Full-time university.
4. Finding a place to live.

So comparatively India is just about the greatest place on earth right now, despite the poo.

Going back a week now, Ash and I had our ‘last’ day together in Jodhpur. I made friends with the guy who runs the little shop next door and he desperately wanted me to join him to watch the cricket. I told him I had to take Ash to the station but that I’d be back. Ash and I got into a rickshaw and made our way to the station. It was a pretty sad goodbye, public embracing is not acceptable between males and females, nor is kissing, so it was just like… oh bye. Got back to the hotel, and went next door to watch India vs. Sri Lanka game #2. Drank chai, and more or less just hung out with the boys, which was heaps of fun. Then Mami came in and wasn’t happy about 6 guys sitting in a tiny shop watching the cricket, so we left to play our own game. Indian backyard cricket is a tad different from how it is in Australia, but equally as fun. Basically about 10 guys stood in a tiny street surrounded by concrete walls. We used a bat that looked like it came from a milo kit or something, and a tiny orange plastic ball. You stand close and just throw the ball at the stumps, if you manage to hit it into a hard to reachplace, like behind a motorbike or in a hole, you’re usually able to score a run, keeping in mind the pitch is littered with debris. Also, Indians play with every single rule as if its international cricket. 6 ball overs between two interchanging bowlers, wides and no balls, 2 batters, etc. They take it pretty seriously, and so it was a good feeling to win the series 2 – 1, by a gallent effort by our last batter and captain who almost single handedly reached the target of17 runs. Went back to his shop to see Sri Lanka get the best of India, and then to find out that Australia lost the series to England (wtf?). Got taken by one of the dudes to next door where he showed me his antique bongs, and obliged me with a couple of cones, then tried to forcibly give me weed which I thanked him for but declined. Then, he showed me his house. It was absolutely amazing. Right in the dead centre of the city, this guys hows was absolutely breathtaking. It was firstly about 600 years old. It had no furniture, and it was crumbling down, yet it was massive. Original art works were still on the roof, there was a dungeon, a watchtower, countless secret doors and passage-ways, about three rooftop areas with a view of Indias most imposing fort. It was a little bit scary to be honest, but I was really thankful to the guy for showing me what he had. So then I was late for my bus to Jaipur so i had to run and pack and get a rickshaw, and I was really stressing. Then the 5 hour bus journey wasn’t even any where near ready to leave when I got there. Id not eaten all day so I bought a bag of peanuts. After an hours wait the bus left, and 5 hours in to our journey (at midnight) we made our first stop. I was really confused, aren’t we supposed to be there? No. Apparently this so called 5 hour bus ride is actually a 10 hour bus ride. I was absolutely starving and to add insult to injury the peanutes were rotten and half of them contained no peanut at all, just 1 lonely ant, who would thank me for freeing him from his peanut shell prison by biting my hands and feet.

Arrived in to Jaipur, a pink wash city of 3 million people, the capitol of Rajasthan at 4am. Got a rickshaw to the Jaipur inn where I had a booking and was told sorry, we’re full. I was 4 hours late after all. Went driving and found a place that was a little over budget but you do what you have to. Spent my time reading and taking care of business. Shivan, Hurshey, Vaas and Len were supposed to meet me at the Jaipur inn, so I got a cycle rickshaw there (feeling like a tool) and left a message at the counter with directions to my new hotel for one Mr. Shivan Yadav. Also spoke with the manager and asked why my room had been given away. It hadn’t. I’d actually been upgraded to a better room for free, and when I arrived, I said I had a booking for the dorm. Shit happens. So the boys eventually got the note and made it to my hotel where the 5 of us jammed into a taxi, and headed back to theres. Spent the evening at their luxury hotel and ate at their luxury rooftop restaurant. A welcome change from the budget accommodation I’d been getting used to. Had a few laughs, played some cards, had a smoke and watched some Adam Sandler movie about jail football which was utterly hilarious. Caught a rickshaw home at 1am, with a little bit of hassle and dodgyness, but got there in the end.

Next day I was meant to go back to their hotel to go shopping, only I’d forgotten to look at its name, or remember where it is so I was in a bit of a situation. With a bit of thinking I decided to go to an internet cafe to look at pictures of Japiur hotels until I found it. It was the first one. I also received an email from Ash in Bombay (20 hours away).

To make a long story short, she got to Bombay and decided that Yoga and solitude wasn’t for her. Secretly I couldn’t be happier.

Went to Shivans hotel and we all packed into a rickshaw and went shopping. First he took us to some dodgy jewellery factory which obviously pays him a commission. Afterwards we went into the pink city, which is considered to be one of Indias best shopping districts. Bought myself a shirt and tried on some shoes. Gave quite a bit of money to homeless kids (at least, a bit to them) and made our way back to the hotel, where we just spent the night stuffing ourselves, playing 13, and watching wrestling and King Kong. Paid for my rickshaw home with a pack of cigarettes as I had no small notes. Got up and packed, and made my way to the station. Shivan and the boys had been on a flight for Bombay that morning, and I was getting the train down to come and rescue Ash. 20 hours later I arrived in Bombay. Of all things ate maccas. Went out for a few drinks with Shivan, who we saw just walking down the street and we called out to him from our cab, and retired to Ash’s shitty and expensive hotel. Next day we found an absolute goldmine. The St. Vinnies Red Shield Hostel. This place is absolute class. About a 3rd the price of anywhere else in Bombay, great location, and 3 free meals a day! (Even if they are gruel and bread). Went out to meet Leo and his friends for a few drinks at a local dive, got absolutely pissed, then another rooftop bar, where we continued to party. Ash and I walked home and Leo, who’d been drinking considerably longer, stumbled. The hostel was locked so Leo obliged by banging loudly on the door. Some dude woke up and let us in.

Yesterday was more or less a repeat of the day before. Met this really lost English dude called David. It’s Davids 2nd day and he was culture shocked pretty badly, coming from a small English village and ending up in a city of 18 million people, was a bit much for him. So we decided to take him out and show him around. Got a train out to Santa Cruz, a known nightlife location and sat at a cool beach side bar with Leo and a couple of his mates, Riddhi and Mani. Downed a few before leaving for his friends house (who happens to be overseas) so that we could sit in their gorgeous front garden and continue to get pissed. His parents came home and were the coolest parents I’ve ever met. A joke from the papa:

4 gay guys enter a bar to find there is only 1 stool left. So what do they do? Turn it upside down.

Got a cab home feeling rather splendid, went to bed, and woke to Ash vomiting in a bucket beside the bed. I on the other hand, feel excellent.

Today were going to see Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd) in concert. Should be a good gig, I really cant wait.

Gruels ready so I’m gonna go eat.

See you all soon!

this one is very different… gay.

Hello!

Fresh water, cigarette, chocolate, biscuit, toilet paper?

 In Pushkar I’d say I heard that line more than anything else that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Ask me when I get back, it’s slow and completely monotone and keeps going even when your 5 metres past the old turbaned bearded man who is saying it. So back to a day by day synopsis:

Where I left off last, was the morning. I think we went straight back to the ‘Techno Chai Shop’ for another bhang lassi. As a result, my recall of the day is a little hazy. There were a few notables. Ash spewed after eating bad curry. We ate at the same place, it was like a buffet, I ate everything she did minus the bad looking curry and the bad looking custard. Rightfully so it seems. Erm, whilst casually walking around town, near the Brahma temple, a Pushkar madri gras (of sorts) was taking place. A bunch of 30 or so unichs were marching loud and proud down the main road, looking fine in their beautiful mirrored saris with their strong masculine shoulders (and stubble). We kind of got stuck in it and had to run through it which was quite a bit of fun. So once we’d gotten a fair way ahead of these lovely ladies, a stampede of cows (2), came charging through the main road. Narrowly avoiding Ash and I and nudging some screaming woman on the way past. About 2 minutes later some old guy walked through the crowd yelling something I couldn’t understand, but I think the flavour was, “Fucking cows come back here!” Had another special lassi, and saw a couple of rabbis walking down the main road. There is a lot of Israelis in India, and especially in Pushkar, occasionaly people will give us a shalom! Ofcourse I oblige with a return shalom, tho I don’t really see how I look like any of those dirty jews. In the evening we found a beautiful place called the sunset cafe. There we sat on a ghat in a hat. We watched the sunset, which was amazing, and after fending off dudes wanting to sell, hash, ganja, opium… and then jewellry, a husband and wife musician couple found us and played some sort of song, him on some sort of violinesque instrument, with both singing. It was good, in a way. Thanked them with Rs 50. Made it home…

Next day was complete bludge day, we did absolutely nothing. Ate and slept, which is pretty standard.

Next day, again we did a whole lot of nothing, maybe a bit of shopping. Ate in an Israeli rooftop restaurant in the evening and enjoyed some special balls, spent the night making fun of the group of Aussies up there, who just simply weren’t as cool as us (obviously). Bought some more chocolate balls for the 6:45am bus leaving the next morning.

We actually made the bus with time to spare. Read a book in the 5 hours it took to get here in Johdpur. The second we got off the bus all these people come running over offering there guesthouse as the best. So that was no problem, agreed to go to this one guys guesthouse, and he told the rickshaw where to take us. Ofcourse, he decided he would take us to another guesthouse that pays commissions to him. After saying no to the owner, who gave us a whole speech on how great his place was, the rickshaw driver explained that this was his brother. He obviously wasn’t but it sounded ok, so we went with it. Had a rest and went exploring Jodhpur. Jodhpurs a bit shit. It’s like any other Indian city, in that its full of indians, and shit. But atleast it’s blue. Ate and slept. Today, we got a rickshaw upto Rajasthans most regarded fort, and took anaudio tour. The place is pretty sweet, I wouldn’t mind living there. Came back home and then came to the internet cafe. About half way through this post it started hailing and the power cut out. Luckily, I’m getting used to this completely shit and unreliable electricity network and made regular saves. Was kind of cool sitting in a pitch black internet cafe (of 5 computers) whilst the rest of Jodhpur was falling apart in the hail and wind. It’s dried up a bit now, and Ash is about to piss on my face so it’s best we got going.

Ash leaves for the ashram tomorrow.

Laters.

would you like some kotu rotti?

The bus into Pushkar wasn’t bad at all, didn’t feel like 7 hours that’s for sure, I didn’t get much sleep but that’s fine, I’m more than happy to look out the windows. Getting into Pushkar two men got on the bus demanding a ‘passanger tax’. The Indians on board didn’t look very happy about this at all and a couple got into an argument with the guys. The first asked for Rs 2 per person, then when I go to pay that, another guy demands Rs 5 per person. It did seem like a bit of a con, but the Indians paid so I did too, and after all Rs 5 is 15c. Got off the bus, and a man immediately comes up to us, (yes, at 5:00 am) hello sir, please come stay at my hotel it’s very lovely very nice, rooftop villa, restaurant etc etc etc. (more etc are needed). I explained we had a place which he then kindly walked us too, the whole time trying to poach us away convincing us that his place was much nicer and cheaper. It sounded good, but we had a booking so I thanked him for his time and went inside. It was 5:00 am, and checkout wasn’t until 10:00 am, so he said we could sleep in the massage room until someone checked out. So there was Ashleigh and I, trying to sleep on a massage table in a room stenching of various aromatic oils, needless to say I feel asleep immediately, Ash didn’t fair so well, haha. Woken up at 10:00 am, we had some breakfast and went to bed. Our room is nice enough, tho lacking any windows, and my side of the bed feels as tho it’s got a plank of wood running vertically through the mattress. Whilst eating lunch on the rooftop I came across a banner for an famous Indian musician who was putting on a concert. It was for Rs 500, which is a hell of a lot of money to most Indians, so I knew that it would be a worthwhile thing to see. Left half an hour before it began and had to do a lot of running around, having no idea where to go, I got a ‘taxi’ (an old army jeep with no doors), he took me to an ATM, and then the show at the Old Rangji temple. The concert was filled with so many hippies, quite a few who look as though they’ve been here since ’69. So funny to see 70 year old turbaned and curry dotted white men, with dreadlocks and granny glasses, speaking in hindi with all the locals. The concert was a dude on a bamboo flute accompanied by another flute, some sort of stringed drone instrument, and a tabla. It was one of the finest performances of music that I’ve ever ever heard. Feeling a bit cold afterwards I warmed up with a chai, and got invited by some Danish hippie girl to come back to her hostel. Of course I declined, but it did give me an idea of how much I was going to love the place. Got home and went to bed.

Yesterday was again a fun day exploring this little village in the bright of day. Firstly, it’s an oasis in the middle of the desert so its either road or sand, no grass. There are more animals here than I’ve seen anywhere else. Add to the list pigs, boar, more monkeys, and camels. Headed to the main bazaar, which is a 1.5km strip of stalls selling all sorts of hippie clothes and trinkets. Got a shirt and ash bought some jewellery like things. Saw some dudes sitting by a ghat (the concrete steps that go down to the lake). They enticed us in and told us all about the very holy nature of this town and the lake. Pilgrims come from all over India to wash and clense themselves in these waters, the site of the first Brahma temple. Around the lake there are 52 ghats and 1000 temples. It’s pretty fucking cool. So these religious sorta dudes got us to come down, and took us through the Sanskrit mantra, showed us how the Hindus come to pray. Gave us some flowers to throw in the lake, wrapped a piece of string around our wrist, put a curry dot on our heads and demanded an exorbitant amount of money. Which of course we paid. I paid Rs 1000, and Ash Rs 1300. Later, checking our guide book it suggested Rs 50 as a fair amount. So we got royally done, but the money is for charity so it’s all right. On our way back some little boy was begging for 1 biscuit. 1 biscuit bro, how could I say no? So I go to the shop and buy a pack, which I hand out a few a piece to the now milling beggar children. A lady with her baby comes and I give her whats left. So, ok, I’ve given the beggar children more than what they’ve asked for, you’d think then they might leave us alone, but no, now they follow us everywhere demanding more money. An Indian man explained to just give them a sharp hard push and they will go, but I didn’t have the heart so I just kept like, grabbing them and steering them away. They thought this was the most fun. After I pushed one:

Kid: Miss Miss, your husband broke my leg, now you pay Rs 5000!
Me: Haha, fucking kids.
Kid: You call me fucking kid? Fuck yooooou.

Was pretty funny, and eventually they left us alone. Afterwards went into a sweet little Nepalese run restaurant and had the best meal I’ve had since I arrived here, coincidentally it was Italian..? On our way back to the room, stopped off for a drink of strong bhang lassi. Ash opting for the medium. And a quick game of chess. Went back home cause Ash had to pee (as always).

Gotta run. Byeeee.

007

The last couple of days have definately been a welcome change of pace. Friday afternoon i visited a resident sitar player in his music shop. I had a turn of his sitar to find that I am hopeless at it. Tho, that is as expected for a first timer. He played for me some classical music, and at my request some beatles, sold me his CD, which he signed, and a small brass indian mouth instrument which Sunjay asked me to find for him. Friday night was spent as usual eating and playing games on our rooftop resturaunt. Ash was well tired and went to bed, I stayed up teaching 13 to my new friend Raj, who is the waiter at our hostel. His life is so far from anything that I know but typical of a young Indian villiager. He is 18 years old. He lives in a small villiage a short bus ride out of town, where he was raised and schooled till year 9. His father works nearby as a waiter at the lake palace hotel. (Udaipurs finest). Raj has been working at our hostel since he left school. He works from 7:30am till 11:00pm every day for a month, before returning to his villiage for a 3 day break. He earns Rs 2000 per month, or 12.5c AUD an hour. His future wife who is currently in her last year at school (also year 9) lives in the villiage, and they will be married next year. He is however extremely happy in Udaipur and I am happy for him. After exhausting him with tales of Australia my family, job, education, (the standard questions in india), I went to bed in our room 007.

Yesterday morning got up at 5:00am to drive to the legendary Monsoon Palace, (a 500 year old palace perched atop the highest mountain in Udaipur) to watch the sunrise over the city. Found ourselves a rickshaw and got in. He drove us as far as the gates at the bottom of the mountain to explain: Ahh, closed sir, I take you home now. Sorry, 100 rupees. It’s a con, he wouldv’e known it wasn’t open, but I had to cut my losses. He dropped us home and said: Ok, it opens at 10 I’ll see you then. I more or less told him to get fucked and went back to bed. 

I love getting up to the morning to good morning Mr. Bond. The cleaner here thinks its hailarious. I said I bet he says the same thing to everyone in my room, and he acknowledged this with the famous indian head wobble, which I already can’t stop doing. Again spent the day lounging around, eating, and drinking. The food is so good and cheap I just don’t want to stop. Had plans to see the sitar player again, and he was to tell me about a famous tabla player who was doing a free concert that night, but I was too lazy… know what I mean. So instead spent the whole day just lounging around. At 7pm they whole hostel had gathered on the rooftop for the screening of James Bond: Octopussy, which is set in Udaipur, and the 7pm screening is a standard for every hostel in the city. Was worthwhile for a laugh. The power cut out half way through, and fireworks started going off behind us. This is another Udaipur specialty, they go off every single night, but these ones were especially impressive, especially on the backdrop of a blacked out holy city. The power resumed, the movie finished, Ash and I played backgammon for an hour or two, and went to bed.

Today is our last in Udaipur, catching the 10pm bus to Pushkar tonight. Went to an art shop to buy a traditional Udaipurian painting, after promising the shop owner I would in return for a favour he did for me. And now in the internet cafe to escape the hot sun.

Some random things I like about india:
Indians – indian men will often hold hands in the street as a sign of friendship, funny at first but also very cool.
Food – they’re called curry-munchers for a reason.
Children – the kids here a the cutest things I’ve ever seen, It is sad that often they are begging for: 5 rupee? 2 rupee? 1 rupee?
Asian tourists – Just like the ones in Australia. Need I say more?
Animals – donkeys, horses, monkeys, elephants, goats, cows, bulls, and little squirrel type things are literally everwhere.

Theres a lot more to add to this list but I’ve got to go. Looking forward to Pushkar, it is a tiny holy town, which has been commercialised by mass tourism from all the hippies around the world, but it is said to be beautiful, relaxing, and they specialise in a very special drink, bhang lassi.

Laters.

Surprise Mussie-Fest and Other Wonders

Namaste,

I’ll continue where I left off…

Saturday Ash and I wondered around the streets of Mumbai (Bombay) looking to organise a train up to Udaipur. Just wondering around happy to get lost… has directions from Leo to go to VP, one of the most beautiful Victorian style buildings I’ve ever seen, and possibly they worlds largest train station. We were meant to go to a travel agent but by the time we got there it was too late. Found some small road side booth for travel arrangements and they suggested we go to the station to book train tickets. We ofcourse left this way to late for when we actually planned to leave because the overnight sleeper trains definately need to be booked well in advance. So walking around the station looking like two very lost whitees, this woman in a sari comes up to us.

Hello, can I be of any assistance to you? My name is Sandi and I come from the tourist information centre.

Yes! This chick was the coolest curry-muncher I’ve ever met. She spoke perfect english and took us straight back to the booth where we had been explaining she can organise us an overnight (20 hour) sleeper bus. This lady was a crack-up man, she was all fuck this and fuck that, walks in front of cars and just points her index finger up in the air at them like. I’m walking mate, you wait. Really getting the jist of how you need to be here in order to get around. So hooked us up with the tickets, and we hopped into a rickshaw back home. Passed a crowd of thousands and thousands of people of the way back, the driver explained:

Ahh, shooting.

At first I was like ?!??! but Ash was like, no dickhead, shooting a movie. They are absolutely movie crazy here, there daily newspaper has more celebrity news than Who Weekly.

Got back to our dingy shitty room, and went across the road for dinner in a real Indian resturaunt. In my entire life I’ve never experienced food so nice or service so good. When they poured my beers and kept topping it up I was impressed. When they literally came around and scooped the food out of the silver bowles that the food comes in onto our plates for us I felt like a king. But the real clincher was when the bloke on the other side of our table pulled out a cigarette and the waiters race over to light it for him. I wanted them to light mine but we were seated in non-smoking. So the most amazing food and service, this dinner couldn’t have cost less than $150 back home, came to about $25.

Next day we lounged around watching the cricket. ODI Aus vs NZ. Was a good match, I was happy to see NZ come close, after that Leo came around again. Leo is this Indian guy who is a friend of Ash’s friend Mansha. Hes an absolute chooth (sick-cunt). He writes for the night-life section of the Mumbai Time-Out magazine, so he is definately a handy guy to have around. We had a joint or two, then he took us with his friend Sunjay (another complete chooth) to some secret, and absolutely sweet rooftop bar. It was basically UTS level 7, but serviced by men in dinner suits, and fairy lights! Had a few beers here, a few more of Leo’s friends came around, we just laughed and laughed. His other friends left so Sunjay, Leo, Ash and I squeezed into one rickshaw and headed back to Sunjays house, picking up some more to drink on the way. Hung there for a good couple of hours, before heading back home. This was the first time I had a chance to walk the streets at night. Not so bad in the city but we were staying in the slums. Was formally the red-light district but now just a budget accomodation centre / bustling shopping centre / farm. Well, a farm in the sense that a cow was being milked in the middle of a main road. It’s strange because the homeless people here arent like they are back home. Firstly there is so many that they cover the entire pavement, and secondly when the wake up in the morning, they will open up their stalls and booths, and go back to work. It’s a bit depressing when you see naked babies lying on the side of the road with aparently no one taking care of them, but it is here, a fact of life. Thankfully during the day the kids are still laughing and playing, and luckily for them, it never gets cold here. Got to our room, and I went out again alone to find some papers. Apart from being chased by a dog and harrassed by some bum to come have some of his smoke it was pretty fun. I definately feel alot safer here at night then in Sydney. Yes, I’m more likely to get pickpocketed or conned into some sort of bullshit, but there is practically no violent crime here, that and I’m a foot taller than everyone else (and the doorways).

Got up in the morning, and in a frantic rush made our way to the bus-stop. This was a nightmare. We were a bit late, the taxi didnt know the way then tried to rip me off, and I didn’t have time to argue (the standard) so I just paid. Was feeling rather hung-over and Ash was even worse for wear. Then our directions were useless, and we had to get a rickshaw from somewhere else, (also ripped off), kept running through the streets and finally found our place, to be picked up by the bus 2 minutes later. Got on and hadn’t even had a drink of water or gone to the toilet. Ash had another cry, but I feel cool taking care of everything. After a couple of hours we made our first stop. Ate, drank, and shat. Feeling much better we continued to make our way. 18 hours to go. I think I had about an hours sleep the whole journey, but that was cool it was all part of the fun. Getting out at the occasional villiage town to refuel and eat and drink chai was alot of fun. I feel absolutely famous, kids just constantly run up to say hello, absolutely bewildered at these crazy white people. Even grown men just want to shake my hand and ask me: What is your good name sir?

Finally got into Udaipur (almost missing our stop) and holy shit what a change of scenery (and I mean holy). This is the most beautiful place I have ever been in my entire life. Got to our hostel and I’ve not seen Ash so happy since we left home. Our place is this charming little 11 room hotel, with a king bed. It’s clean, has hot water (from a tap you sit under), amazing lake-city views, rooftop resturaunt, delicious food, and all for Rs 300 a night (about $10). We were lucky enough to see the sun rise over the city from our rooftop overlooking a city covered in onion domes, winding steets, temples, forts and palaces. (photos when we get back). Had some breakfast and slept off most of the day. Got up later for dinner, some chai, and a sun set over the mountains. Everywhere is the sound of prayer, and meditation. Singing and drums, As the sun set we heard from a near by balcony Num num num num num num… x 100. Was pretty funny.

We decided to head out and find an ATM, and thank god (allah) that we did! We walk into the main streets the find them aboslutely going off! All the women dressed up in their nicest clothes and the men walking and dancing through the streets singing. As Ash said, theres nothing like stumbling acorss a surprise mussie (muslim) festival. These men were carrying these most amazing and intricate like… mini temples made from wood and paper and tinsel. Someone exlpained that there was 20 off them marching through the city. Small ones about 2 metres tall right up to this massive thing that looked like a bobbling lit up building in the distance but came down to be just a 10 metre tall masterpiece. They’re carried (with much difficulty) by a massive crowd of men underneath and more all around stablising the things with ropes. They were having a bit of trouble considering the absolute tangle of electrical wires above them, but they managed… I just couldn’t believe how lucky we had been to find this. Headed back and stayed up on the rooftop playing 13 till midnight, the festival still going on across the river.

Got up this morning, and after breakfast headed to the city palace. One of the typical sights, we went through the museum there taking photos, and just being general tourists. Which was pretty fun. On the way out tho we noticed a monkey up on the roof. Then two, then looking around I noticed there was tens of them, how could we have missed them on the way in. They just run amok on this palace playing with each other, heaps of babies just wrestling and jumping around. One came down to pick up some food, I got about a metre away before he decided that he was more comfortable up in the roof and off he went…

That more or less brings me to now, sitting in a dodgy net cafe writing down all this.

Tomorrow I’m going to ride an elephant.

hullo friend!

aye
im in india now, flew into mumbai on thursday night got picked up from the airport and taken to our room. first thing you notice is all the pollution, it looks like a hectic fog, but it stinks. got back to our room which, isnt too bad… in that it has hot water and aircon, and not too many bugs. its funny it seems that in india everything works, but really dodgily. its so cheap to get second hand things repaired here that i think they would rarely consider buying anything new. we do however for the first time since we left have a working tv. we turn it on and there is brett lee singing some english/hindi song. if you havent seen it look on youtube its the funniest thing youll ever see. the first time we stepped out into the streets i was just like fuuuck… but you quickly get used to the goats and bulls, beggars, rickshaws, massive holes and piles of concrete, and shit everywhere. im starting to open upto this place. no one thinks cleaning is important and clean glasses just doesnt happen. but i like that. caught a train into the city last night, which was so fun in itself. hanging out the doors is not just for fun, its a neccessity, the trains can get pretty packed, 3500 people die just in mumbai from train related incidents every year. just wondered around the city, there are some sweet parks just filled with people playing cricket. im really keen to get in on a game. some crazy old buildings which are absolutely beautiful. a bazaar on every street where you cant walk for 10 seconds before hearing, hullo friend! you want jeans? or, mr bond! mr bond! come see. very nice. its cool tho. saw a movie last night but decided on some shitty american movie directed by clint eastwood. its pretty sweet, they play the national anthem before the movie, so you have to stand up. i had some shitty paper indian flag pinned to my shirt the some street woman forced on me for rs 50, (rip off) as it was their national day yesterday (same day as ours). came home and met up with manshas friend leo, who gave us a drink and a smoke and told us everything we need to do to get around. so back off to the city tonight maybe ill catch some music or go to a nice resturaunt, or maybe a drink in an indian pub…

ash is coping pretty well, tho every man who walks past just stares at her. she had a bit of a cry, but im a big man who takes care of business.

EDIT: Wrote this post last saturday morning, but in typical indian style the computer crashed as I set it to post. Luckily wordpress has a sweet auto-save feature which I’ve only just discovered… more to come.

beautiful farang

hey all!

where to begin_ first up, thailand is the stinkiest, dodgiest place ive ever been, and ive never felt more at home in my life! i absolutely fuckin love this place. got here, and spent our first night in a room the size of a matchbox and the temperature of a barbeque, had a look around a couple of drinks and went to bed… everyone here is so friendly, you feel a bit slack because everyone tries really hard to accommodate to the whitey farang (foreigner). second night in a much nicer aircon hotel, tho i definately wont be able to afford that sort of luxury for much longer. spent the night on the famous khaosan road, which is like a market and nightlife centre. ive never ever had so much fun on so little money. the cover bands are absolutely excellent, we made friends with a gay couple and spent the night laughing and laughing. ash got some dreads put in and looks we look like the biggest hippie couple on the face of the earth. got a tuk tuk (a three wheeled cabined motorbike) home, and its just rediculous the way these crazy thais drive. the lanes are painted on but no one bothers to use them. ive seen motorbikes carrying four people (once it was a mother with a baby in one arm, steering with the other, a toddler in front and a 6 year old behind). how she was able to brake is completly beyond me, maybe she just didnt. and utes with atleast 10 in the back. i cant put photos up cause ash forgot her usb connection and i dont have a camera, and im not sure if i will be able to afford one. ive spent way more money than i shouldve, but i think india will be a bit cheaper still. weve been eating constantly, theres food vendors everywhere you look and your average meal cost about 2 bucks. next day we caught a bus and (ready to sink) ferry across to the paradise of ko samed. ive never been anywhere more beautiful in all my life. its a bit like a permenant music festival on a awe inspiring white sand beach. got absolutely tanked drinking some sort of disgusting coke, red bull and house spirit drink out of a bucket. had a grreat night just dancing with ash and the locals, swimming, and just absolutely partying. travelling here is pretty cushy… you never know whats going on, but theres always someone taking care of you. so got back to our bungalow and spewed my guts up all over the place. had some dodgy pad  thai about 8 hours earlier which was still completely undgigested. next day i woke to find ash with a big cut on her leg where shed fallen down the stairs in the night. so a bit worse for wear but still ok! spent the day feeling a bit miserable. our bed felt like a concrete slab with a piece of cardboard over it. just had a swim and and a nap and a couple of beers in a rocky alcove before going to bed at like 8pm. completely worn out. i dont think id slept for more than 4 hours at a time until then, where i slept for about 12. got the ferry and bus back to bangkok, and ofcourse, left my wallet on the minibus. had to cancel all my cards, and transfer my money to ashs account which is a real pain in the arse cause now where two people living on one card, but we should be able to manage. obviously that killed the mood a bit but once we got our heads around it we decided its not a big deal and went back to khaosan road. bumped into some friends we made on the island, just had some beers and came home. (again in a tuk tuk). he takes you down the wrong street and says ok here we are and when you say this isnt where we said he goes. oooh, far away you pay more! its a complete con, when we did get back to our hostel i said to him you knew where i was going didnt you, and he said with a big smile thai, yes i know i know! sitting now in big johns aussie hotel. big john was pretty handy, just with what to do and where to go. catching a flight to india tonight, im glad i had a bit of time in thailand first to practice dealing with rip off merchants, which should be a lot worse in india. theres a sweet face you pull, like, you wanker dont even pretend your not trying to rip me off. then they smile and say oh ok ok, and the bargaining begins. the trick is just to know what things are worth, and dont pay more. ive had the worst mood swings whilst here, from absolute euphoia to tears, tho id say thats more to do with withdrawel symptoms coming off weed. about  a week in now i feel heaps better. its weird not seeing a single familiar face for 5 days i dont know how im gonna handle it for the next 40 in india, but im sure ill manage.

whats new in oz_ nothing i bet haha!

This Saturday…

Aye friends. This is my blog for India (and Thailand). While I’m gone I’ll update this with pictures and stories whenever I get a spare chance. Leaving on Saturday, so I’d better start packing.